Playing with the Queen of Hearts

[Spoiler Alert if you STILL haven’t watched Deadpool yet, in which case, seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?! You had the perfect excuse!]

I was in a movie theater when the clock struck 12 and Valentine’s Day arrived this year. Juice Newton’s “Angel of the Morning” was playing while a room full of fans, friends, families, and bandwagon-jumping hype-misled fools (who probably thought they’d be watching Dora the Explorer instead of a gore-fest given their horrified faces) watched the intro scene to the biggest Rated-R movie of the year. The music choice was tangential at best, given how Deadpool is more like an angel of death who won’t let you see another morning, but will likely touch your cheek before he leaves you dead, but I digress.

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Note to self: NEVER sit at the front row when even the movie’s poster gloriously features a man’s ass.

What’s more important is that for about two hours, I’m quite sure there were a few people in that crowd asking themselves what they’ve gotten themselves into all for the sake of love. Heck, while I was in line to buy tickets, I overheard a girl ask her man what the movie is about, only to receive a snickering “Seecreeet!” as an answer. She then pointed out how he always brought her to see random films only the man was able to relate to – which is, admittedly, kinda cute and sweet. Little compromises here and there, like being with the prick for a movie he really wants to see: these are part of how to make relationships work.

For some people, the compromise is even bringing the nauseating bitch with you to a movie you’d rather see alone just because she’s the jealous type who wouldn’t let you out of her sight even for one second. Such sacrifices don’t count for much, really, and should probably not be raised during heated arguments. Until we get to the question of, How far will you go for the one you love?

See, the thing is that some people tend to bail out whenever the relationship hits a speed bump; some people stay until they end up like that dude in “A Rose for Emily”. People tend to be unaware of how love can be so devastatingly cruel, until all the dust has settled and all that’s left is an empty husk of their former selves.

Much like in Juice Newton’s other song, “Queen of Hearts”, getting into a relationship with someone is quite the gamble: expect tears, suffering, and even a broken heart. Sometimes, it’s not even due to cheating or sickness or him having a micro-penis. Sometimes, the two of you just aren’t the matching pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Queen of Hearts cover by me and cozmak2 via the Smule Sing! app.

 Love isn’t always all happiness and sex and making pillow fortresses for even more sex. Two people getting into a relationship each have their own set of peeves, defined comfort zones, fetishes, quirks, dreams, and ideologies. You’ll be persuaded, convinced, pushed out of your comfort zone. You’ll be exploring new things and having new experiences – or you’ll need to say ‘no’.

And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Any person in a healthy relationship shouldn’t see it as a responsibility to always please his/her partner. A relationship entails a continuing dialectic between concerned parties for mutual benefit. Talk about it, and if it still doesn’t work, and you’re not okay with the outcome, it’s time to run.

There’s no way two people will ever be one consciousness with the same wants and fears, unless we factor in getting turned into a Philosopher’s Stone. Even in the longest, strongest relationships, that couple understands each other more than anyone else ever will, but they don’t necessarily want the same pizza toppings. It’s two people happily coexisting, with mutual respect for each other’s individual person. If your partner can’t accept your boundaries, maybe it’s time you had them out of your space.


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